Reasons to Consider Memory Care #3
It can be dangerous at times
If you read the post about combative personalities, you’ll know where this is going. While it won’t affect every person with Alzheimer’s, a percentage will become combative. We aren’t talking about the occasional mood swings outbursts. Most will have those. Everyone is entitled to be in a bad mood now and then.
Combatives are more serious than that. Their reactions can be extreme, from yelling to pushing or hitting. It’s doubly hard because you can’t explain to them or reason with them usually. If they have any paranoia, that can make it worse. And through it all, it is best if you remain calm. That isn’t always easy. If the person is bigger than you it can become physically difficult to control or contain them. And should they hit you–bigger or not–it can be dangerous.
In a facility, not only are several people available to help if necessary, but there are more ways to distract and re-cue. And if necessary, the nurse on duty or on call can prescribe something to help your loved one. Sometimes that is what helps the most.
Caregiver burnout is real
Even without coping with a combative, it is so difficult to be a caregiver to your parent or spouse. I know it feels like something you should try to do til the end, but it can be so stressful it may not be the best for you or your loved one. Physically it can make you ill, mentally it can wear as deeply, causing you to shut down and/or become unemotional. It’s one thing to be stoic, but that shut down can cause you to become short and impatient. And that doesn’t mean you are a bad person! The stress can get to anyone. I hope you will consider before that point, if it wouldn’t be better to have your loved one cared for by a variety and number of caregivers in a facility, and for you to visit, cheerfully and often.
Even the kindest person can get worn out. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them!