Reasons to Consider Memory Care #1
There are several reasons I found that a memory care facility was the best for us. The first one is that they get lonely, and lonely in a different way as well. I don’t think we can imagine how lonely and scary it must feel at times when you are unable to remember. It must make them feel somewhat lost at times. I’ll often see two residents holding hands, as though they are clinging to each other for support, to have that connection. It’s very important for them to know even if they might feel a bit lost, they are not alone.
Personally my attitude has changed so much since the live-at-home days. When Mom and Dad were able to take care of themselves and each other it seems mom was coping in spite of the early Alzheimer’s diagnosis. They had been married for so long, and together so long if was hard to imagine they would want to live with other people. On occasions when we visited assisted living homes, some where two people were sharing a room, we didn’t like the idea at all. This was in a six person home. Many seniors are happy in a smaller home like that, since it is more like a home with front and back yard, etc. Fast forward to the spacious new facility. Again, since Mom and Dad both moved in together it wasn’t an issue for us at the time. However at this facility, two people wouldn’t be sharing a room, but an apartment, with a living area and two bedrooms.
Fast forward again to when Dad died. At that point Mom didn’t even want to be in their room. She was happy, and still able to tell us that clearly, when she was in the living room with all the other residents. It kept her occupied, interested, and less lonely. When her new roommate moved in, it made it so much easier for both of them. The new woman felt more comfortable having someone with her while she got to know her way around, and Mom had someone there with her so she didn’t feel so lonesome. The aides often told us they would hear the two of the talking together at night, from each of their rooms.
It just shows you how their needs change (along with our ideas of what is best). They do get lonely. They need to be with other people, to be entertained and distracted at times. They need to feel connected.